Family, Health and Wellness, Life Lessons & Inspiration, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Happy Women’s Day! | The Struggle of being a Working Mom

iwdpersonalquote

Happy Women’s Day everyone! I think it is so wonderful to have a day carved out on the calendar that is specifically and uniquely dedicated to women. The role of the woman in the home, at work and in society often times gets overlooked. So today, I hope to shed a BIG, bright light on all the women of the world whose daily actions, no matter how big or small adds to the fabric of our society.

In the last two years, I’ve become a mother to two beautiful little girls and I can’t begin to tell you how much they have changed my life. It seems as though just overnight I’ve become this selfless being whose sole and only purpose is to provide and protect these innocent little ones.

Living in a city like New York however has made raising them and enjoying them much more difficult than I could have imagined. My experience makes me tip my hat off to all the mothers running around New York City with strollers during rush hour on the trains, rushing between work and the daycare, while still trying to maintain some sense of normalcy in their lives. It is not easy being a woman and even harder being a mom.

I remember the first day I returned to work after my maternity leave with both my daughters. My heart sank to my feet at the sight of their little eyes watching me walk out the door. Something about that felt so unnatural. It made me wonder whether other mothers felt the way I did? Going back to work made breast feeding more difficult. In fact it killed the whole process entirely. When I’m at work, I ache for my children and find myself often day dreaming about them and wondering what they were doing, whether they had a nap, whether Opal-Rose got into my jewelry box again and if Ruby-Rain finally took her first steps….without me.

This experience has really made me ponder life and how we exist. Granted in other parts of the world like the U.K.where maternity leave can be had for up to 50 weeks 37 of which are paid, in most countries a mother has to return to work when her child is three months old or even younger. When I think about it, the thought of dropping off my newborn to a stranger everyday is nerve wracking and even scary, but we must do what we must.

Our society, driven by profits and bottom lines demand that we spend more time behind the desk or in our cubicle making companies rich, rather than staying at home to nurture our most precious commodity during their most formative years. That is archaic to me. The role of the mother (and father) should be to care for and nurture their children until it’s time for school (usually around 3 years old). I believe that if society for a moment stopped to think about the big picture rather than their pockets and placed a much higher value on the role of the family, we will foster stronger and safer communities that will in turn deliver more positive outcomes for the society on a whole.

Though some small waves have been made, we need to do more to protect our children and our families. In this modern world, women should not be forced to chose between keeping a job and raising their kids. It should be a choice mandated by policy and law. It is my hope that with Trumps new healthcare plan that we not take ten steps back, but rather forge forward in the best way that protects women’s health and rights of our precious families.

 

Family, Life Lessons & Inspiration

Cute Valentine’s Day Quotes

Happy Valentine’s Day!! As we celebrate the big love day, let’s reflect beyond the eros and recognize that love permeates every aspect of life – family, friends and even strangers. Here are a few of my favorite quotes to help inspire you today.

Life Lessons & Inspiration, Lifestyle

12 Self-Help Books that Will Change Your Life!

In my previous post “Fighting Fear and Taking Action” I spoke about reading self-help books as a way to take action against your fears. I promised I would share some of my favorite books with you so here is the list. I guarantee they will change your life!

the-purposedrivenlife    thevoiceofknowledge   theroadlesstravelled

7habitsofhighlyeffectivepiepls  youareabadass  thinkandgrowrich

emotionalfreedom   thefouragreements    allthejoyyoucanstand

illuminata    canyoustandtobeblessed    holybible

 

Since this post, I have found another truly amazing book. This is definitely a TOP LISTER! If you are looking to really make changes in your life and find the financial freedom you are seeking then this is the book for you! Remember you can click on any of these titles to purchase on Amazon.com . Happy Reading!

servenomaster

 
Other Great Books You Can Read

Life Lessons & Inspiration, Uncategorized

Fighting Fear and Taking Action!

When I was a young girl, nothing could stop me. There wasn’t anything that you could tell me, I couldn’t do. I didn’t think about it or dwell on it or weigh the pros and cons. As long as I felt that tingle in my stomach I went for it. I remember telling my friends “I’m going to be famous”, and they would all look at me and laugh. See, where I grew up it wasn’t the norm to dream beyond the usual. Big dreams were for those born into privilege and lived thousands of miles from where we were born. Their chuckles didn’t bother me though. Thinking back now, I guess it didn’t because I believed in my dreams more than anything else. I never saw them as impossible.

When I was 12 years old, I asked my mother if we could move to New York so I could take dance and voice lessons. We laugh about it today, but I remember her bewildered expression. She knew I was serious. She wondered where I had gotten such a ludicrous idea. Recovering from the startle she calmly said to me, “You’re too young to move to New York alone and you know your dad wouldn’t approve.” It was the only possible answer she could give, because it was the truth.

That didn’t stop me however. Now entering high school, I joined the dance ensemble and then the choir and began singing in church. I also played the piano pretty well, having been classically trained from since the age of 5. My eagerness to be on stage and perform brought me to a life of pageants and I took much pleasure in particularly entering those with talent segments. There was hardly a pageant or talent show that I did not win.

Fast forward to a World Talent Award (given by the Miss World Organization), cover features, a mildly successful single and album and there you will find a woman who seemed to have had everything going for her struggling to find her place in the world and full of fear.

Where did that fearless young girl disappear to? When did I become this flailing, weakling? Time, disappointment, pain and hurt have taken their toll. They beat you down like an abusive lover and they have the potential to break you – tearing away at your spark and zest for life. Little by little, I found myself becoming doubtful and thinking that this mediocre space I was in, was where I would be for the rest of my life. No matter how many great ideas may have popped into my head, I couldn’t act on them because of fear.  Fear of rejection, disappointment and fear of what people would think of me or say. But through prayer and self-reflection I found a way to control my fear rather than let my fear control me and you can too!

Though our fears are a part of us, they need not define us. Fighting fear comes with action. The first step is to become aware. You can’t change something unless you are aware and conscious that it needs to be changed. Understand exactly what your fears are and identify them. Once you have an understanding of that, then you can take action to counter those particular thoughts. Reflect on what may have caused them and why. This may take some real soul searching. So many of us have underlying hangups and issues that we are not even aware of. The truth is, we are products of our environment. So don’t rush this part. Take your time and discover what is revealed to you.

The next step is to read as many self-help books as possible. I have tons of downloadable books from Amazon and Barnes and Noble and some books I have the actual hard copies. (See special post with concise list of some of my favorite self-help books here). Another step I took to releasing my fears, was talking. It’s good to not hold things in all the time. Talking allows you to express your feelings in the open. I talked to trusted friends and family members and sometimes even co-workers. Notice I used the word “trusted” here.

One of the things that stuck with me the most on this journey of finding myself, was in Don Miguel Ruiz’ book “The Voice of Knowledge”. There he teaches the meaning of living in your truth and training our minds to realize that thoughts are not real. Fighting fear comes by changing the way we think. Ever heard that saying “you are what you think”? It’s so true. Remove false thoughts with positive, truthful thoughts and while you are doing all this don’t forget to pray and/or meditate. I have  bible app downloaded on my phone. It comes with audio and prayer groups and communities and is rather an inspiring app. Letting loose of fear won’t be easy. There will be good days and bad days. It’s a process and it’s not easy to unlearn bad habits, but your life and happiness is worth it.